Because with both straps up, you just look like a hick. See also 90's, Hip-Hop.
Shiny, checkered shorts that were as inexplicably popular on teenage girls as teenage boys. See also 90's.
Like "Help, I'm a pistachio stuck in a peanut jar" and "Bet ya 50 bucks I can quit gambling" and "In dog years I'm dead".
Both self-consciously bald and patriotic? Why no kill two birds with one stone? See also Patriotic.
A guy said this while turning down a piece of cake at a wedding this weekend—it tickled me. See also Diets, Obesity.