Torture Idea: Place victim in a room filled with beginner recorder players. Could also work with violins.
What's the main difference between an onion and a viola? No one cries when you cut up a viola.
Oh, your child plays the violin, does he? And yours plays the trombone? Pssh. My child is a virtuoso string in a cup player.
Someone's occupation has little to no bearing on their ability to accomplish simple tasks such as fixing a light bulb. This ability is more dependent on the life-experience of the particular individual, and a straightforward answer cannot be categorically determined for such a wide range of diverse individuals. See also Math.
A beautiful insult from Shakespeare's The Tempest. See also Shakespeare.