Funny Gag Gift Clothes

Funny Clothes

Beard Restraints

Even if you've never wanted to wear a beard restraint, or for that matter, a beard, this product is sure to change your mind.

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Leather T-shirts

Damn, those things chafe!

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Mesh Tank Tops

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Jockstraps

Tee-hee-hee.

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Sock Suspenders

Worn by men before the advent of elastics and miracle stretch-fabrics to keep their socks from sagging.

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Seashell Bras

An alternative to coconut bras preferred by mermaids.

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Cargo Shorts

Man's friend, woman's enemy.

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BluBlockers

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Dress Jeans

These often return from the cleaners with a crease.

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Pooch Pants

Diapers for incontinent dogs like this one.

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Glow-in-the-dark Ninja Outfit

As stealthy as a marching band.

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Monocles

Add a top-hat and you're really talkin' style.

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Stirrup Pants

A travesty of a garment.

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Top Hats

Worn by Vaudeville tap dancers and overzealous kids at prom.

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Pom-Pom Socks

These things.

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Barbecue Aprons with Bikini Bodies

On Modern Family, what Gloria mentions buying Jay for his birthday. One size fits most.

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Toe Tunes

The ultimate toe jam. Like having a DJ in your slippers.

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Sweatpants

The give-up-on-life pants.

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Vanity Cane

As sometimes carried by hip-hop stars and prom attendees.

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Baja Shirts

Like these.

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Cravats

The ascot's flamboyant cousin.

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Moon Boots

Snow boots of the eighties.

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Sweater Vest

It's a sweater. It's a vest. It's a sweater vest.

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Fanny Packs

A small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn at the waist by a strap around the hips. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early- to mid-1990s. Today, however, fanny packs are considered unfashionable by most people. Many consider the fanny pack a sure mark for an out-of-place tourist, invoking the traditional tourist stereotypes known around the world.

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Piano Tie

Whether you're a smooth talkin' cop who's working the vice squad in Miami, or a happenin' hipster who likes to rock the raddest styles, this totally trendy tie is a funky fresh way to jazz up your look!

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Members Only Jacket

Popular jacket in the 1980's first introduced in 1981 and manufactured in a wide variety of colors. Their advertising tag line was "When you put it on, something happens." The jackets had a tendency to lure the ladies by suggesting the owner had a membership into an exclusive club.

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Clip-on Ties

Seriously? That's the best you can do?

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Nude Panty Hose

This is what's worn at Hooter's. With white socks and sneakers.

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Wrestling Singlet

A more masculine name for a unitard, used for amateur wrestling.

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Lederhosen

Decorative leather overalls often worn by yodelers and other Germans.

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Rubber Overshoes

Most often seen in the Midwest, devided to protect your "good" shoes from moisture and salt.

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Mu'um'u

Loose fitting dress of Hawaiian origin. Bright and colorful, they hang from the shoulders and are perfect for maternity wear or "fat" days.

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Utilikilt

Kilts with pockets.

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Mom Jeans

Magnificently high-waisted, acid-washed, easy-fit and pegged-at-the-ankle. Best paired with granny panties underneath and white Reebok low tops on the feet (with the velcro) Fanny packs optional. Mmmm, soccer mom!

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Parachute Pants

Nylon pants with zippered pockets popular in the 80's.

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Dickey

A turtleneck that's all neck, no turtle.

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Coconut Bras

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Mortarboards

A nonsensical name for a nonsensical hat.

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Blankets with Sleeves

Whether it be the original Snuggie or the knockoff Slanket. Me? I still prefer the Slumber Sack.

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Dreamcatcher Earrings

Dual purpose earrings that both apprehend a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep and keep their wearer looking classy!

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Jeggings

Also known as denim leggings. If you live in a big city, you've seen them lately.

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Umbro Shorts

Shiny, checkered shorts that were as inexplicably popular on teenage girls as teenage boys.

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Cami Secret

Sort of like a upside-down dickie.

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Deerstalkers

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Hospital Gown

Cause it's a little bib that shows your tushie!

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Leather Baseball Caps

The baseball cap for dress occasions.

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Pince-nez

French for "pinch nose," pince-nez are the earpieceless eyeglasses popularized by Theodore Roosevelt.

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Genera Hypercolor Shirts

A shirt that changes color with changes in body heat. While this would seem a good reason for the overweight and overly-sweaty to avoid wearing them, these were precisely the only individuals who did so at my high school.

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Hand Underpants

I'll just wear gloves, thanks.

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Denim Pants

I'm thinking of pants that are cut like slacks, but are made of denim. With pleats. Why not just wear jeans?

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Pith Helmet

Also known as a topee or salacot.

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Oakley Razor Blades

Arguably the biggest douche-bag eyewear of all time.

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Jean Shorts

An in-your-face rebuke to all the haters who said that denim was only meant for pants.

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Hand Muffs

What's wrong with mittens?

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Jean Diapers

Aka Little Movers.

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Pleated Dockers

According to Levi Strauss, 7 out of 10 American men own a pair of Dockers.

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Ankle Bracelets

Especially when worn over socks.

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Zubaz

The baggy pants that dared football fans to be different.

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Bobby Socks

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Inflatable Shoes

E.g. the Reebok Pump and Nike Air Pressure.

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Hair Visors

Both self-consciously bald and need protection from the sun? Why no kill two birds with one stone?

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