Funny Insults

1. You Whoreson Zed

A Shakespearean insult that basically means that you are absolutely, utterly useless. See also Shakespeare.

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Funny Quotes

2. “I’m an early bird and a night owl, so I’m wise, and I have worms.”

―Michael Scott

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Funny Questions

3. If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make animals out of food?

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Funny Sayings

4. Don’t open the fridge… the salad’s dressing.

See also Dad Jokes.

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Funny Things to Do

5. Stealing Food from the Person in the Mirror

Apply force if necessary.

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Funny Drinks

6. Not Your Father’s Root Beer

But it is. This is an alcoholic root beer. Wait a few more years, little Timmy. See also Alcohol, Misleading.

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Funny Places

7. Wyoming, Rhode Island

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Funny Advice

8. Never Trust Someone Who Says to Trust Them

Trust me, its not worth it.

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Funny Things to Do

9. Yelling “Ding Dong” When the Doorbell is Broken

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Funny Instruments

10. Cheap Party Favor Whistle

One high-pitch note of parents’ nightmares. See also Annoying, Parents.

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