Funny Advice

1. Do Not Use a Megaphone Underwater

The sound waves will freeze from the cold, turn into heavy bricks of pure noise, and sink straight down to crush the local crab population’s tiny houses.

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Funny Instruments

2. Squeaking Balloon

Pinch the nozzle and release air for annoying squeaking sound. See also Annoying.

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Funny Toys

3. Cabbage Patch “Snack Time” Kids

Toys that got recalled in 1997 because they’d eat your hair. See also Dolls.

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Funny Instruments

4. Empty Glass Bottle

Sounds like a foghorn when you blow over the lip; typically used to annoy adults. See also Annoying.

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Funny Observations

5. If You’re Sweating in a Sweater, You’re the Sweater

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Funny Insults

6. You Have the Confidence of a Much Taller Man

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Funny Insults

7. Bark Clearer, I Can’t Understand You

Woof.

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Funny Insults

8. You Look Like You Keep Your Batteries in the Refrigerator

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Funny Jobs

9. The Bun Separator at a Bakery

Someone’s gotta do it… See also Bread.

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Funny Quotes

10. “Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside, but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.”

―Audrey Hepburn See also Beauty.

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