Funny Sayings

1. If Pessimism Was an Olympic Sport, I Doubt I’d Win It

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Funny Sayings

2. Never. Give Up.

Most people don’t read that right on first try.

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Funny Sayings

3. If Robbers Ever Broke into My House and Searched for Money, I’d Just Laugh and Search with Them

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Funny Sayings

4. A True Best Friend is One Who Immediately Clears Your Search History After You Die

See also Death, Internet.

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Funny Sayings

5. I Always Arrive Late at the Office, but I Make Up for It by Leaving Early

See also Lazy, Office, Work.

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Funny Sayings

6. Oy, With the Poodles Already

See also Gilmore Girls.

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Funny Sayings

7. I Pooped My Pants and All I Got Was This Lousy Poop in My Pants

See also Pants, Scatological.

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Funny Sayings

8. Cats These Days…

My cat peed on me. 😕 See also Cats.

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Funny Sayings

9. If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for one day. If you teach a man to fish, you’ll have the house to yourself.

The surest way to avoid divorce. See also Fishing, Marriage.

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Funny Sayings

10. The World Would be a Better Place Without Me, Which is Why I Must Keep Living

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