Funny Advice

1. Do Not Use a Megaphone Underwater

The sound waves will freeze from the cold, turn into heavy bricks of pure noise, and sink straight down to crush the local crab population’s tiny houses.

Added by a Guest on July 6, 2026| 1 Comment | 4 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Advice

2. Don’t Eat in the Library

Ants will come, eat the crumbs, grow strong, read books, grow smart, and then take over the World. See also Insects.

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Funny Advice

3. Don’t Eat Something if You’re Allergic to It, Especially if That Something is Cats

See also Cats.

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Funny Advice

4. When Fighting Say, “Left Hook,” Then Kick Them

Works every time. See also Boxing, Violence.

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Funny Advice

5. If You See a Dog Wearing Underwear, Then It’s Probably Not a Dog

See also Dogs.

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Funny Advice

6. If You Can’t Eat It, Pee on it and Walk Away

So says the dog. See also Dogs.

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Funny Advice

7. One Fart at a Time

Don’t let it all out at once, but neither keep it all in. See also Flatulence.

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Funny Advice

8. Never Follow in Anyone’s Footsteps

Unless you’re lost in the woods and you see a trail. Then definitely follow those.

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Funny Advice

9. Go to Other People’s Funerals, Otherwise They Won’t Go to Yours

See also Death.

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Funny Advice

10. Never Put Uranium in Your Cranium

Added by a Guest on January 7, 2026| 13 Comments | 44 people like this You Like This | Unlike