Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

―Woody Allen See also Death.

Added by easyid on July 28, 2025| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

2. “The best way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

―Will Rogers See also Money.

Added by easyid on July 28, 2025| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

3. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

―Charles de Gaulle

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Funny Quotes

4. “The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”

―Joseph Heller in Catch-22 See also Literature.

Added by a Guest on April 5, 2025| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

5. “Yeah, No.”

―My Wi-Fi when I'm trying to play Fortnite See also Internet.

Added by a Guest on October 19, 2024| 5 Comments | You Like This |

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Funny Quotes

6. “The kid is not my son.”

―Michael Jackson

Added by a Guest on August 15, 2024| 10 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

7. “I like Nerds because I’m actually craving aquarium gravel, and it takes the edge off.”

―Me See also Candy.

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Funny Quotes

8. “Stay golden Ponyboy, stay gold.”

A literal classic. 💅🏽

Added by a Guest on February 26, 2024| 23 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

9. “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?”

―Lillian Donovan

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

10. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

―Nora Ephron. I feel this one. See also Dogs, Teenagers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 4 Comments | You Like This |

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