Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

―Woody Allen See also Death.

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Funny Quotes

2. “The best way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

―Will Rogers See also Money.

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Funny Quotes

3. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

―Charles de Gaulle

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Funny Quotes

4. “The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”

―Joseph Heller in Catch-22 See also Literature.

Added by a Guest on April 5, 2025| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

5. “Yeah, No.”

―My Wi-Fi when I'm trying to play Fortnite See also Internet.

Added by a Guest on October 19, 2024| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

6. “The kid is not my son.”

―Michael Jackson

Added by a Guest on August 15, 2024| 12 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

7. “I like Nerds because I’m actually craving aquarium gravel, and it takes the edge off.”

―Me See also Candy.

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Funny Quotes

8. “Stay golden Ponyboy, stay gold.”

A literal classic. 💅🏽

Added by a Guest on February 26, 2024| 23 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

9. “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?”

―Lillian Donovan

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

10. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

―Nora Ephron. I feel this one. See also Dogs, Teenagers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 4 Comments | You Like This |

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