Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.”

―Bill Murray

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Funny Quotes

2. “You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.”

―Dr. Gregory House See also Religion.

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Funny Quotes

3. “You Shall Not Pass!”

―Dumbledore from Star Trek See also Star Wars.

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Funny Quotes

4. “My name is Bobby, I like to party, and if you don't believe me, watch me shake my body!”

―Bobby Hill

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Funny Quotes

5. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

―Yogi Berra

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Funny Quotes

6. “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.”

―Judith Martin

You’re… alive?

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Funny Quotes

7. “Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.”

―Mitch Hedberg

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Funny Quotes

8. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

―Woody Allen See also Death.

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Funny Quotes

9. “The best way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

―Will Rogers See also Money.

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Funny Quotes

10. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

―Charles de Gaulle

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