Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.”

―Judith Martin

You’re… alive?

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Funny Quotes

2. “Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.”

―Mitch Hedberg

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Funny Quotes

3. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

―Woody Allen See also Death.

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Funny Quotes

4. “The best way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

―Will Rogers See also Money.

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Funny Quotes

5. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

―Charles de Gaulle

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Funny Quotes

6. “The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.”

―Joseph Heller in Catch-22 See also Literature.

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Funny Quotes

7. “Yeah, No.”

―My Wi-Fi when I'm trying to play Fortnite See also Internet.

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Funny Quotes

8. “The kid is not my son.”

―Michael Jackson

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Funny Quotes

9. “I like Nerds because I’m actually craving aquarium gravel, and it takes the edge off.”

―Me See also Candy.

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Funny Quotes

10. “Stay golden Ponyboy, stay gold.”

A literal classic. 💅🏽

Added by a Guest on February 26, 2024| 24 Comments | You Like This |

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