Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
32. “If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”
Thanks for the advice, Clint Eastwood. See also Appliances.
Funny Quotes
33. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a deserted island, what book I’d bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
Funny Quotes
35. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should’ve been more specific.”
―Lily Tomlin
Psst. Got something funnier? Add your own funny quote.
Funny Quotes
36. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
―Michael Scott See also The Office.
Funny Quotes
38. “On the Contrary!”
Henrik Ibsen’s last words, in response to his nurse saying he was doing better. See also Literature.
Funny Quotes
39. “It’s okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.”
―Kurt Cobain See also Fish.
Funny Quotes
40. “Don’t be the drug dealer. Marry the drug dealer.”
―My World Literature Teacher See also Drugs.