Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

71. "Humans Are Just Animals with Guns."

―My Dad See also Fathers, Guns.

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Funny Quotes

72. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."

Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.

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Funny Quotes

73. "FIRE BAD!"

―Frankenstien's Monster See also Monsters.

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Funny Quotes

74. "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped."

―Izaak Walton

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Funny Quotes

75. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."

―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.

Added by a Guest on March 27, 2020| 3 Comments | You Like This |

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Funny Quotes

76. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."

Deep. See also Sloths.

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Funny Quotes

77. "Tu manges un grande sandwich."

―My Brother
French for "You are eating a big sandwich."
See also French, Sandwiches.

Added by a Guest on March 15, 2020| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

78. “I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

―Emo Philips
See also Religion.

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Funny Quotes

79. "I've got to make sure that Youtube comes down to tape this."

- Micheal Scott

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Funny Quotes

80. “Love is the horse. Magic is the donkey. Suffering is the mule.”

A classmate in my Humanities class during a discussion of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. See also Schools, Shakespeare.

Added by a Guest on February 11, 2020| 2 Comments | You Like This |

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