Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

71. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

―The Dalai Lama

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Funny Quotes

72. "Humans Are Just Animals with Guns."

―My Dad See also Fathers, Guns.

Added by a Guest on May 30, 2020| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

73. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."

Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.

Added by a Guest on May 3, 2020| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

74. "FIRE BAD!"

―Frankenstien's Monster See also Monsters.

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Funny Quotes

75. "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped."

―Izaak Walton

Added by a Guest on April 10, 2020| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

76. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."

―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.

Added by a Guest on March 27, 2020| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

77. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."

Deep. See also Sloths.

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Funny Quotes

78. "Tu manges un grande sandwich."

―My Brother
French for "You are eating a big sandwich."
See also French, Sandwiches.

Added by a Guest on March 15, 2020| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

79. “I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

―Emo Philips
See also Religion.

Added by a Guest on March 9, 2020| 8 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

80. "I've got to make sure that Youtube comes down to tape this."

- Micheal Scott

Added by 1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0p on February 27, 2020| 7 Comments | You Like This |

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