Funny Quotes

71. "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped."

―Izaak Walton

Added by a Guest on April 10, 2020| 2 Comments | 51 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

72. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."

―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.

Added by a Guest on March 27, 2020| 3 Comments | 71 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

73. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."

Deep. See also Sloths.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2020| 1 Comment | 26 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

74. "Tu manges un grande sandwich."

―My Brother
French for "You are eating a big sandwich."
See also French, Sandwiches.

Added by a Guest on March 15, 2020| 3 Comments | 25 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

75. “I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

―Emo Philips
See also Religion.

Added by a Guest on March 9, 2020| 8 Comments | 78 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

76. "I've got to make sure that Youtube comes down to tape this."

- Micheal Scott

Added by 1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0p on February 27, 2020| 7 Comments | 9 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

77. “Love is the horse. Magic is the donkey. Suffering is the mule.”

A classmate in my Humanities class during a discussion of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. See also Schools, Shakespeare.

Added by a Guest on February 11, 2020| 2 Comments | 16 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

78. "Time wounds all heels."

Who else but Groucho Marx?

Added by a Guest on February 6, 2020| 2 Comments | 24 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

79. "OMG, my neighbour is stalking me! I saw her Google my name on her laptop through my telescope!"

Added by anitabath on November 25, 2019| 23 Comments | 122 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

80. "I like sleep. You're alive but unconscious."

Thank you, Rita Rudner! See also Sleep.

Added by MsKnowItAll on August 31, 2019| 2 Comments | 78 people like this You Like This | Unlike