Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

71. “I can’t fit the orange in the pencil sharpener, Mom.”

Something I once said while sleepwalking.

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Funny Quotes

72. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

―Steve Martin

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Funny Quotes

73. “Peoples say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every say.”

―A. A. Milne

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Funny Quotes

74. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

―The Dalai Lama

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Funny Quotes

75. "Humans Are Just Animals with Guns."

―My Dad See also Fathers, Guns.

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Funny Quotes

76. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."

Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.

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Funny Quotes

77. "FIRE BAD!"

―Frankenstien's Monster See also Monsters.

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Funny Quotes

78. "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped."

―Izaak Walton

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Funny Quotes

79. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."

―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.

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Funny Quotes

80. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."

Deep. See also Sloths.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2020| 1 Comment | You Like This |

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