Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

41. “Please don’t waste your life on useless websites.”

―Mom

Added by a Guest on February 2, 2022| 16 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

42. “If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”

Thanks for the advice, Clint Eastwood. See also Appliances.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 28, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

43. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a deserted island, what book I’d bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’”

―Steven Wright See also Boats, Islands.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 28, 2022| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

44. “Be Strong.”

―Me to My Wi-Fi Router See also Internet, Technology.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 19, 2022| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

45. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should’ve been more specific.”

―Lily Tomlin

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 12, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

46. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

―Michael Scott See also The Office.

Added by a Guest on January 12, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

47. “Bad Morning!”

―6-year-old me to my teacher
See also Schools, Teachers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on December 14, 2021| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

48. “On the Contrary!”

Henrik Ibsen’s last words, in response to his nurse saying he was doing better. See also Literature.

Added by a Guest on December 7, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

49. “It’s okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.”

―Kurt Cobain See also Fish.

Added by a Guest on November 18, 2021| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

50. “Don’t be the drug dealer. Marry the drug dealer.”

―My World Literature Teacher See also Drugs.

Added by a Guest on November 15, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Top Contributors of Funny Quotes

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.