Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

41. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should’ve been more specific.”

―Lily Tomlin

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 12, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

42. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

―Michael Scott See also The Office.

Added by a Guest on January 12, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

43. “Bad Morning!”

―6-year-old me to my teacher
See also Schools, Teachers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on December 14, 2021| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

44. “On the Contrary!”

Henrik Ibsen’s last words, in response to his nurse saying he was doing better. See also Literature.

Added by a Guest on December 7, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

45. “It’s okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.”

―Kurt Cobain See also Fish.

Added by a Guest on November 18, 2021| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

46. “Don’t be the drug dealer. Marry the drug dealer.”

―My World Literature Teacher See also Drugs.

Added by a Guest on November 15, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

47. “I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys… I think that’s the record.”

Last words of the poet Dylan Thomas. See also Alcohol, Poetry.

Added by Stealth01 on October 27, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

48. “I’m an early bird and a night owl, so I’m wise, and I have worms.”

―Michael Scott

Added by a Guest on October 21, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

49. “I love you guys. Not enough to die for you, but enough to give you a sandwich if I have too much sandwich.”

―My Writing Professor

Added by a Guest on June 4, 2021| 10 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

50. “Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.”

―James Acaster See also Geometry, Love.

Added by a Guest on June 1, 2021| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Top Contributors of Funny Quotes

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.