Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

91. "I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want to eat 2,000 of something."

- Mitch Hedberg

Added by Sarah69999 on October 25, 2018| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

92. "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

- Albert Einstein See also Marriage, Men, Women.

Added by Sarah69999 on October 25, 2018| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

93. "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do It."

- Bill Gates See also Lazy.

Added by Sarah69999 on October 25, 2018| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

94. “I Mean It!”

Says my English teacher. She never does. See also Schools, Teachers.

Added by a Guest on October 20, 2018| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

95. "I Tried Taking the Shell off of a Snail in the Hopes of It Being Faster..."

But it just ended up being more sluggish. -Hank Green

Added by twerg45 on March 26, 2018| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

96. "I'm on a Rock."

Said every kid playing lava floor ever.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2018| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

97. "You Can’t Just Let Nature Run Wild."

-Walter J. Hickel, who was governor of Alaska, United States secretary of the interior, and then governor again

Added by a Guest on March 9, 2018| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

98. Dan

-This quote is the wrong way round.

Added by a Guest on December 16, 2017| 6 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

99. "No, I have a forcefield!"

So says your annoying childhood friend, every time you played pretend shooting games. Worth trying at work, though. See also Annoying, Children.

Added by a Guest on November 17, 2017| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

100. "Never Wear Anything That Panics the Cat."

- P.J. O'Rourke See also Cats.

Added by a Guest on October 10, 2017| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Top Contributors of Funny Quotes

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.