Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

11. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

―Nora Ephron. I feel this one. See also Dogs, Teenagers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

12. “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

―Groucho Marx See also Friends, Jail.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on November 13, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

13. “Kkkssssssssssssss”

―Scissors when you get that perfect angle

Added by a Guest on September 7, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

14. “MMMMMMMMMMM… Beep!”

―Microwave See also Appliances.

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Funny Quotes

15. “Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!’”

The last words of James French, a serial killer who was put to death by electric chair. See also Death.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on September 5, 2023| 4 Comments | You Like This |

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Funny Quotes

16. “Turn me over, I’m done on this side.”

Famous last words of Saint Lawrence as he was being burned alive. What a legend. See also Death, Fire.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on September 5, 2023| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

17. “The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.”

―G.K. Chesterton See also Bible, Religion.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on September 5, 2023| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

18. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

―Napoleon Bonaparte

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Funny Quotes

19. “An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.”

―Robert Oppenheimer

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Funny Quotes

20. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

―Andy Rooney See also Dogs.

Added by a Guest on September 4, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

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