Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

11. “The kid is not my son.”

―Michael Jackson

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Funny Quotes

12. “I like Nerds because I’m actually craving aquarium gravel, and it takes the edge off.”

―Me See also Candy.

Added by a Guest on April 15, 2024| 6 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

13. “Stay golden Ponyboy, stay gold.”

A literal classic. 💅🏽

Added by a Guest on February 26, 2024| 24 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

14. “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?”

―Lillian Donovan

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

15. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

―Nora Ephron. I feel this one. See also Dogs, Teenagers.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 31, 2024| 4 Comments | You Like This |

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Funny Quotes

16. “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

―Groucho Marx See also Friends, Jail.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on November 13, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

17. “Kkkssssssssssssss”

―Scissors when you get that perfect angle

Added by a Guest on September 7, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

18. “MMMMMMMMMMM… Beep!”

―Microwave See also Appliances.

Added by a Guest on September 7, 2023| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

19. “Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries!’”

The last words of James French, a serial killer who was put to death by electric chair. See also Death.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on September 5, 2023| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

20. “Turn me over, I’m done on this side.”

Famous last words of Saint Lawrence as he was being burned alive. What a legend. See also Death, Fire.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on September 5, 2023| Comment | You Like This |

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