Funny Sayings

11. I Used to Play Piano by Ear, But Now I Use My Hands

See also Music.

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Funny Sayings

12. If I’m Not Back in Five Minutes, Wait Longer

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Funny Sayings

13. If Pessimism Was an Olympic Sport, I Doubt I’d Win It

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Funny Sayings

14. Never. Give Up.

Most people don’t read that right on first try.

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Funny Sayings

15. If Robbers Ever Broke into My House and Searched for Money, I’d Just Laugh and Search with Them

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Funny Sayings

16. A True Best Friend is One Who Immediately Clears Your Search History After You Die

See also Death, Internet.

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Funny Sayings

17. I Always Arrive Late at the Office, but I Make Up for It by Leaving Early

See also Lazy, Office, Work.

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Funny Sayings

18. Oy, With the Poodles Already

See also Gilmore Girls.

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Funny Sayings

19. I Pooped My Pants and All I Got Was This Lousy Poop in My Pants

See also Pants, Scatological.

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Funny Sayings

20. Cats These Days…

My cat peed on me. 😕 See also Cats.

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