29 Entries Tagged “Crime”

Funny Euphemisms

1. Permanently Borrow

Also known as stealing. See also Crime.

Added by a Guest on October 31, 2023| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Euphemisms

2. Borrowing Without Asking

Also known as stealing. See also Crime.

Added by GustavoFerrer on October 14, 2023| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Phrases

3. Cat Burglar Burgling Cat

A cat that steals cat burglars. See also Cats, Crime.

Added by a Guest on December 12, 2022| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Observations

4. If you get a loan from the bank, you pay it off for 30 years.

If you rob a bank, you’re out in 10 years. See also Crime, Money.

Added by Yeetaleetthesecond on January 12, 2022| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny People

5. J.J. Bittenbinder

If he’s real, I still have hope for Santa Claus. See also Crime, John Mulaney.

Added by a Guest on November 3, 2021| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Observations

6. Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you get robbed, but the robber hopes that you’re rich.

Go robbers. See also Crime.

Added by a Guest on October 3, 2020| 22 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Euphemisms

7. Burglar Hurdles

Also called a fence or gate. See also Crime.

Added by a Guest on October 23, 2018| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Advice

8. For $1, you can buy a candy bar from a vending machine. For $2, you can buy a brick, and get all the candy in the vending machine.

I didn't come up with this, I'm not clever enough. I just don't remember where I originally saw it. See also Candy, Crime.

Added by a Guest on March 25, 2018| 16 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Things to Do

9. Sending Messages by Throwing Bricks Through Windows

An old pastime of the Mafia. Makes the recipient have to pay for repairs, too! See also Crime, Old-Timey.

Added by a Guest on January 5, 2017| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Questions

10. What Do You Call a Snobbish Criminal Going Down the Stairs?

A condescending con descending. See also Crime.

Added by a Guest on December 13, 2016| 4 Comments | You Like This |

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