Funny Sayings

51. There’s Mercury in Uranus!

What the doctor says when the rectal thermometer breaks during the health exam. See also Astronomy, Doctors.

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Funny Sayings

52. Don’t open the fridge… the salad’s dressing.

See also Dad Jokes.

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Funny Sayings

53. Life is like a game of chess; I don’t know how to play chess.

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Funny Sayings

54. Happy as a Skunk Eating Sh*t

Animals in the weasel family eat their prey from the bottom first so the organs don't spoil, and in case their prey is stolen, they’ve had the parts with the highest nutritional value. See also Profanity.

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Funny Sayings

55. A bad limbo player walks into a bar…

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Funny Sayings

56. I’m Such a Good Cook, Even the Fire Alarm Cheers for Me

See also Cook, Kitchen.

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Funny Sayings

57. A Butterfly on the Back Turns Into a Vulture in the Crack

See also Tattoo.

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Funny Sayings

58. I before E except…

When your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight beige counterfeit sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. See also Grammar.

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Funny Sayings

59. Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Don’t Know How to Rhyme, So Hurt Me Bro

Edgar Allen Poe minus the Edgar Allen Poe. See also Poetry.

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Funny Sayings

60. A Watched Game Never Loads

See also Video Games.

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