Funny Sayings

21. I Always Arrive Late at the Office, but I Make Up for It by Leaving Early

See also Lazy, Office, Work.

Added by a Guest on August 17, 2023| Comment | 53 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

22. Oy, With the Poodles Already

See also Gilmore Girls.

Added by a Guest on August 7, 2023| 4 Comments | 18 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

23. I Pooped My Pants and All I Got Was This Lousy Poop in My Pants

See also Pants, Scatological.

Added by a Guest on May 29, 2023| 4 Comments | 25 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

24. Cats These Days…

My cat peed on me. 😕 See also Cats.

Added by KitKat66 on May 23, 2023| 8 Comments | 15 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

25. If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for one day. If you teach a man to fish, you’ll have the house to yourself.

The surest way to avoid divorce. See also Fishing, Marriage.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2023| 1 Comment | 33 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

26. The World Would be a Better Place Without Me, Which is Why I Must Keep Living

Added by a Guest on April 27, 2023| 10 Comments | 98 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

27. You Bet Your Bottom Dollar!

See also Old-Timey.

Added by a Guest on April 13, 2023| 1 Comment | 10 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

28. I Before E Except After C

Eight, neighbor, eighty, weight, vein, veil. I ❤️ English. See also Grammar.

Added by a Guest on March 25, 2023| 14 Comments | 22 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

29. The asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in history.

Massive killstreak. See also Dinosaurs.

Added by Vector on February 26, 2023| 5 Comments | 84 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

30. The bad news is that I dropped my 5-foot cactus.

The worse news is that I caught it.

Added by a Guest on January 23, 2023| 3 Comments | 37 people like this You Like This | Unlike