Funny Jobs

91. Certified Pet Emotion Translator (CPET)

Acts as the emotional interpreter for pets, decoding meows, tail flicks, and judgmental stares into actionable insights for clueless humans. Daily tasks include explaining to cats why the red dot isn't real and assuring dogs that yes, you will come back from the grocery store.

Fluent in Barklish and Meowinese.

Comfortable being ignored by cats professionally.

Able to cry on command when a goldfish looks disappointed.

Added by Spiro7860 on June 3, 2025| 2 Comments | 19 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Jobs

92. Certified Emotion Fluffer

Responsible for keeping the emotional morale of office plants, forgotten coffee mugs, and slightly neglected coworkers at peak levels. Duties include whispering affirmations to ferns, validating staplers’ existence, and gently reminding Bob in Accounting that he is enough.
Fluent in passive-aggressive Post-it notes.

Can interpret sighs, side-eyes, and printer groans.

Excellent at pretending to cry at mediocre birthday cards. Paid in leftover birthday cake slices and cryptic compliments from upper management.

Added by Spiro7860 on June 3, 2025| 1 Comment | 10 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Observations

93. Australians are Just British Texans

Added by Unit8787 on June 3, 2025| 7 Comments | 51 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Questions

94. Who is Jose, and Why Do Things Not Go His Way?

Added by a Guest on June 3, 2025| 1 Comment | 28 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Euphemisms

95. Disrelished Mortal

Also known as someone you don’t like.

Added by persons on June 2, 2025| Comment | 10 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Things

96. Taco Tuesday, But on Wednesday

I still want my tacos. See also Tacos.

Added by a Guest on June 2, 2025| 4 Comments | 17 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Euphemisms

97. Cup on Steroids

Also known as a mug.

Added by Geust on June 1, 2025| 4 Comments | 22 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Foods

98. Bobster

A regular lobster, except he was called Bob before being food. See also Seafood.

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2025| -1 Comments | 23 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Insults

99. You Look Like You Returned a Donut Because It Had a Hole in It

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2025| 1 Comment | 60 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Anti-Jokes

100. What Did the Alligator Drink at the Gym?

Water.

Added by a Guest on May 29, 2025| Comment | 29 people like this You Like This | Unlike