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Funny Insults

51. "She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her."

Shakespeare for the win! See also Shakespeare.

Added by a Guest on May 3, 2020| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

52. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."

Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.

Added by a Guest on May 3, 2020| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Insults

54. You Played Me Like a Fiddle

No, fiddles are actually hard to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

Added by a Guest on May 2, 2020| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Euphemisms

55. Cursed Ravioli

Also known as Smuckers Uncrustables.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Observations

56. The Average Number of Skeletons Inside the Human Body is Greater than One

It sounds creepy until you realize that the major contributor to that statistic is pregnancy.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Observations

57. "I will be contacting my lawyer" is the adult version of "I'm telling my mom."

Makes you think of Trump, doesn't it?

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

58. In Germany they are stocking up for the lockdown with sausage and cheese.

That’s the Wurst Käse scenario. See also German.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

59. Lazy Fact #1737907364920226488360101763894038278

You were too lazy to read those numbers.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 10 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

60. You Can Teach a Man to Fish...

But you can't teach a fish to man. See also Fish.

Added by a Guest on April 30, 2020| 2 Comments | You Like This |

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