6. When Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Make Lemonade. Make Life Take the Lemons Back! Get Mad! I DON'T WANT YOU'RE DANG LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE GUY WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO MAKE A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
"Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail"
"What the heck is caller I. D.?"
"I'M THE GUY WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN, WITH THE LEMONS!"
10. Marly and Me
It's funny because the author knows the title's incorrect grammatically!