kevin's Entries

Funny Phrases

1. One Twist Short of a Slinky

We've all gotten tired of the "fry/Happy Meal" bit - and who wouldn't appreciate (or has ever even heard) a good Slinky joke? Not this guy.

Added by kevin on February 25, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

3. That Smell Could Knock a Buzzard off a Shit Truck

OK, that's funny. I can say that because I didn't come up with it. But I will tell you - it's even funnier when you envision a buzzard cringing and falling off a truck of, well, poop. See also Scatological.

Added by kevin on February 25, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

4. It's on Like a Pot of Neck Bone(s)

** NOTE: The 's' on neckbones is purely optional.
I live in SC, and even I've only heard this one a few times. But it's a keeper. Some folks apparently cook pork neck bones. Wash 'em up, throw 'em in a pot. After that it's anyone's guess. Used thusly: "You ready to bolt? Then it's on like a pot of neck bone!" See also Redneck.

Added by kevin on February 25, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

6. As Smooth as a Stucco Bathtub

Used as such: a buddy uses a really janky pickup line on a girl and gets shot down; you seize the opportunity by saying, "Man that was as smooth as a stucco bathtub!"
If this doesn't make sense, I can't help you.

Added by kevin on February 25, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

7. Efficient as a Colorblind Bomb Squad

"Red wire? Snip the red wire? Is that the one on the left? What? To the left of the blue? What blue? Oh hell. We're screwed."

Added by kevin on February 25, 2010| Comment | You Like This |