Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. "A Ghost Haunts My Bowels."

And it's not afraid to announce itself. See also Flatulence.

Added by Anthony on November 6, 2011| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

2. "Miss Jackson, if you're nasty."

See also 80's, Music.

Added by tammyred on May 1, 2011| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

3. "In the Case of 2-Year-Old Alex, You Are the Father."

Maury Povich reading the paternity test results. See also Television.

Added by a Guest on April 14, 2010| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

4. "I'll Get You My Pretty, and Your Little Dog Too"

From Wizard of Oz. See also Dogs.

Added by tommy22 on March 17, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

5. "Taste My Sherry and Biscuits."

Best line from Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo. Insulting if used in the right context. "Oh yeah? Well I suggest you taste my sherry and biscuits!" See also Food, French, Literature.

Added by mellojello on March 6, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

6. "Women's breasts are like martinis. One isn't enough and three is too many."

See also Alcohol, Body, Drinks.

Added by a Guest on August 3, 2008| 9 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

7. "Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"

See also Television.

Added by a Guest on June 5, 2008| 16 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

8. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Ad-libbed by Roddy Piper in the film They Live. See also Celebrities, Movies, Profanity.

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2008| 9 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

9. "Rehab was a sobering experience."

So quoth Lindsay Lohan. See also Celebrities, Drugs.

Added by a Guest on May 27, 2008| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

10. "I'm thinking about lice!"

Said by random girl in my class during an awkward silence.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2008| 8 Comments | You Like This |