Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. "In the Case of 2-Year-Old Alex, You Are the Father."

Maury Povich reading the paternity test results. See also Television.

Added by a Guest on April 14, 2010| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

2. "I'll Get You My Pretty, and Your Little Dog Too"

From Wizard of Oz. See also Dogs.

Added by tommy22 on March 17, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

3. "Taste My Sherry and Biscuits."

Best line from Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo. Insulting if used in the right context. "Oh yeah? Well I suggest you taste my sherry and biscuits!" See also Food, French, Literature.

Added by mellojello on March 6, 2010| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

4. "Women's breasts are like martinis. One isn't enough and three is too many."

See also Alcohol, Body, Drinks.

Added by a Guest on August 3, 2008| 6 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

5. "Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"

See also Television.

Added by a Guest on June 5, 2008| 11 Comments | You Like This |

Psst. Got something funnier? Add your own funny quote.

Funny Quotes

6. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Ad-libbed by Roddy Piper in the film They Live. See also Celebrities, Movies, Profanity.

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2008| 7 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

7. "Rehab was a sobering experience."

So quoth Lindsay Lohan. See also Celebrities, Drugs.

Added by a Guest on May 27, 2008| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

8. "I'm thinking about lice!"

Said by random girl in my class during an awkward silence.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2008| 8 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

9. "By the time they realize the truth, we'll be long gone with all the money."

Quote by a villainous Fisher Stevens from the 1995 movie Hackers. See also Movies.

Added by Frank on December 23, 2007| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

10. "Too many OBGYNs aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country."

As spoken by none other than our president, George W. Bush. See also Politics.

Added by a Guest on October 16, 2007| 8 Comments | You Like This |