Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
81. "A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop."
This is apparently Al Pacino's favorite joke, as claimed by Johnny Depp on Letterman. See also Celebrities.
Funny Quotes
82. "Here's all you have to know about men and women; woman are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason woman are crazy is that men are stupid."
Funny Quotes
83. “The Average Dog is a Nicer Person than the Average Person.”
– Andy Rooney
See also Dogs.
Funny Quotes
84. "When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work."
- Captain Obvious
Funny Quotes
85. "High school is easy. It's like riding a bike and the bike is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything's on fire because you're in Hell."
- Some senior that went to my high school
See also Schools.
Yoo-hoooo! Be a doll and add a funny quote.
Funny Quotes
86. "Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face."
See also Friends.
Funny Quotes
88. "I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want to eat 2,000 of something."
- Mitch Hedberg
Funny Quotes
89. "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."
Funny Quotes
90. "I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do It."
- Bill Gates See also Lazy.