Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
61. “I can’t fit the orange in the pencil sharpener, Mom.”
Something I once said while sleepwalking.
Funny Quotes
64. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
―The Dalai Lama
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Funny Quotes
66. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."
Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.
Funny Quotes
68. "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped."
―Izaak Walton
Funny Quotes
69. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."
―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.
Funny Quotes
70. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."
Deep. See also Sloths.