MistyCat's Entries
Funny Books
1. ! (Exclamation Mark)
This is seriously the title of the book. It is a bright yellow picture book about an exclamation mark feeling alone in a bunch of periods. He runs away and meets an annoying question mark. They elope and have ten thousand little asterisk babies. (Okay, not that last part.)
Funny Instruments
4. Chocolate Cello
No kidding, I actually SAW one of these in a store window in Michigan. It was white chocolate with crunchy wafer balls inside. Was to scale, but a whole LOT smaller than a real cello...
Funny Insults
5. “Away, You Starvelling, You Elf-skin, You Dried Neat’s-tongue, Bull’s-pizzle, You Stock-fish!”
From Henry IV Part I (Act 2, Scene 4)
What can I say? Shakespeare does it again! See also Shakespeare.
Funny Insults
6. “Go, Prick Thy Face, and Over-red Thy Fear, Thou Lily-liver’d Boy.”
Hooray for Shakespeare! In modern times, I'm guessing that this would mean, "Go bleed yourself out, you coward!" See also Shakespeare.
Funny Insults
7. “I Am Sick when I Do Look on Thee"
Ah, A Midsummer Night's Dream! This insult probably means that "You're so ugly, I get nausea just from remotely looking at you." See also Shakespeare.
Funny Insults
8. “I Am Pigeon-liver’d and Lack Gall.”
Shakespeare! You've really done it this time! This basically means that "I'm a coward and my brain is the size of a parakeet turd." See also Shakespeare.
Funny Questions
9. "What Are Computers, MistyCat?"
This question was asked by my little sister. (I replaced my name with my screen name as to not reveal my identity.)
I responded, "Devices that we can type, play games, do homework, listen to music, and share stuff on. They can also be used to annoy the s*** out of old people."
I didn't actually swear, though, so please don't judge. See also Computers.
Funny Things to Do
10. Make Poems About...Stuff
Fam'ly all say that
Tomato aren't poo poo
But I know better
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I hate cilantro
What about you?
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
So is your head
Roses are red, violets are blue.
You look like a monkey and smell like one too.
You belong in a cage at the Cleveland Zoo.
Don't worry, you! I'll be there too.
(Not in the cage, but laughing at you.) See also Poetry.
