Tim's Entries

Funny People

21. The Guy Who Gave You Shit in High School

It is ten years later, and there he is as you roll up in your car- at the pay window of a fast food place. He sees you, you see him. He gives you your food, and your change, and who's laughing now, Champ?

Added by Tim on August 11, 2009| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Things to Do

22. Smoking While Shaving

See also Bathroom, Tobacco.

Added by Tim on August 11, 2009| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Things to Do

23. Old Farts' Rehearsed Ranting About Health Care

All these over-65's enjoying Uncle Sugar's MedicAid, MediCare, Soc. Security, worried about a "government takeover" of their health care. Where do you they think their free care, and monthly checks, come from? See also Government.

Added by Tim on August 11, 2009| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Things to Do

24. Holding Your Woman's Purse

Simultaneously sad and hilarious. Ten times so when there's a gaggle of fellows outside a woman's clothing store. Does not matter if it's your wife or your girlfriend; You, my brother, have surrendered any and all power in the relationship. It is a line that, once crossed, can be impossible to re-cross. May God have mercy on what is left of your masculine soul.

Added by Tim on August 11, 2009| 3 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Insults

25. Flaming Shit-Heel

A guy who's convinced he's God's gift to humankind, ultra cool; but, in fact, is a pathetic, trend-chasing wanker. See also Profanity.

Added by Tim on May 21, 2009| 4 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Phrases

26. Cock and Bull Story

An old expression for made up nonsense. Today we'd say, "B.S.", but I think this one needs to be revived.

Added by Tim on May 7, 2009| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny People

27. Super Serious Guys on Horseback in a Parade

And then, all of a sudden, the horse's tail jerks up, and out comes the reddish-brown plops. See also Animals, Parades.

Added by Tim on May 5, 2009| 2 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Things to Do

28. Saying "Like" All the Time

At some point in life, you have to outgrow this. It's like, really annoying, when people say it, like, all the time. But then like, you're talking to this person who is like doing it, and you're like suppressing the urge to like totally laugh in his face. See also Teenagers.

Added by Tim on February 26, 2009| 6 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Words

29. Breastes-ses

Women's breasts, and men's frequent discomfort in referring to them in a way that’s not rude. Particularly when they're alone among women. Inasmuch as men get loud and boisterous about female body parts while among other men, like chimpanzees for example, they are strangely tentative, even skittish in this, when alone among women. When alone among women to whom they're related, this ensuing awkwardness is multiplied times 100,000. “Ah, yes, you're right, Janey and Tisha, Gina does have, um,...large...Breastes-ses.”

Added by Tim on February 24, 2009| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Sayings

30. Pipe Down!

Usually used by dads, for some reason. Needs to be said only once. Oddly effective, even to this day.

Added by Tim on February 19, 2009| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Tim

81 Entries
117 Comments

Grew up in a small town in Wisconsin, now live in Arizona. Enjoy married life, reading history books, hiking, Stephanie Miller Show, German language, blackjack, and my two dogs. Veteran. Can drive stick.

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