MsKnowItAll's Entries
Funny Advice
91. Free Advice is Worth Just That.
You can get advice, and opinions, but you don't have to take it. Free advice? Keep an open mind but no so open that your brains fall out.
Funny Advice
92. Try Explaining to Someone . . .
If you're not sure what to do, try explaining it to someone. If the details aren't there or it begins to sound stupid, it probably is. A lot of ideas fall apart when passing them on.
Funny Insults
93. If I Wanted to Hear from an A$$hole, I Would Have Farted
See also Flatulence, Profanity.
Funny Movies
94. Elvis Movies for the Suspense . . .
When is he gonna sing? Blue Hawaii and Fun in Acapulco, he's doing something, then just starts singing. On a date that's just creepy. Movies? No one seems to notice . . .
Funny Phrases
95. Reaching For The Brass Ring
In the early days of amusement park carousels, kids riding a circling wooden horse up & down, were encouraged to lean WAAAAYYYY out to grab a brass ring hanging out of a wall dispenser. Redeemed for a ticket, the next ride was FREE. It was a prize if you took and won the risk. Dangerous but VERY popular. See also Old-Timey.
Funny Songs
96. I Know ALL the Hits of the 1600s!
I sing at Renaissance Festivals and it's a finite set. Once you learn them, there are no new songs. (Well, I do throw in Moody Blues, Jethro Tull and Rush but only in a madrigal way) And I really get down with Shakespeare tunes!
Funny Tattoos
97. If You Can Read This There Better be an Engagement Ring in Your Pocket!
Roz, on the sitcom Night Court, mentioned this was her only tattoo, somewhere on her butt cheek. Still makes me giggle... See also 80's, Sitcom.
Funny Books
98. 100 Step by Step Napkin Folds
This is for someone with A LOT of time on their hands for trivial decorations. Obviously, after planning meals, shopping for food, preparation and clean up . . . you also have to make the napkins look presentable. Is this before or after you chew food for everyone?
Funny Books
99. The Book of Hand Shadows to be Thrown Upon The Wall
That's a lot of fun to throw a book, but where do the hand shadows come in?
Funny Observations
100. There Aren't Enough Past Lives to Go Around . . .
At no other time has there been this many people on this planet. Not only can there not be more than one Napoleon or Cleopatra, no body ever claims they were an obscure peasant who died young. Sorry, just not enough ancestors . . .
