All Entries
Funny Products
5701. 1-800-COLLECT
Commercials for 1-800-COLLECT were a ubiquitous presence on TV during the 90's and featured b-list celebrities such as Mr. T, Alyssa Milano, and Aresenio Hall urging you to save a buck or two. One commercial also featured OJ Simpson's mom—perhaps the fact he was still calling his Mom collect as a wealthy adult should have been our first clue. See also 90's, Commercials, Telecommunications.
Funny Sayings
5702. It'll Make a Turd
That thing they're serving you... it might taste horrible, but at least it's functional. See also Food, Scatological.
Funny Things to Do
5703. Touching a Buzz Cut
Yes, I have finally done it. (But I don't think that the guy was too happy.) See also Hair.
Funny Things to Do
5704. Acting Cool when You Wave to Someone Waving at Someone Behind You
Ways to cover up your idiocy include pretending to fix your hair, scratch your head, or pointing towards nothing. See also Awkward.
Funny Things to Do
5705. Omphalomancy
Predicting how many children a mother is going to have by counting the number of knots on her first born child's umbilical cord. See also Babies, Mothers.
Funny Words
5706. Absquatulate
1. To depart in a hurry
2. To die
3. To abscond
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1. We must absquatulate before the Wicked Witch arrives!
2. I am going to break the news of your aunt's absquatulation as seriously as possible.
3. That man just absquatulated with your horse. See also Crime, Travel.
Funny Words
5707. Spoonerism
Swapping the first or other sounds of words,
e.g. it is kisstomary to cuss ["customary to kiss"] the bride.
Funny Things to Do
5710. Setting Up a Conference Call
This is always funny because it very rarely is perfect on the first try. It's like this: "Judy, you still there? Ok, one more second." "Mike? you there? We lost Mike...." "No, sorry, I'm here phone was on mute." "Gary? you there? Gary? " "One second, gotta get Gary on. Everyone hold." See also Office, Telecommunications, Work.