Funny Quotes

581. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

―Andy Rooney See also Dogs.

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Funny Quotes

582. “An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.”

―Robert Oppenheimer

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Funny Quotes

583. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

―Napoleon Bonaparte

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Funny Words

584. Schnapsidee

German for ideas and plans so ludicrous that they must have been conceived while drunk. See also Alcohol, German.

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Funny Insults

585. You Look Like You Wiggle Your Fingers and Say, “I’ve Been Good This Week” when You See a Donut

See also Donuts.

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Funny Anti-Jokes

586. How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and humorless. See also German.

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Funny Questions

587. If three out of ten people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean the other seven enjoy it?

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Funny Questions

588. What do you call a person that sews quickly?

Tailor Swift.

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Funny Insults

589. You Look Like You Write the Letter “S” from the Bottom Up

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Funny Drinks

590. The Alcohol Removed from Non-alcoholic Drinks

Where did it all go? See also Alcohol.

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