Funny Quotes

971. “You would think that a rock star being married to a super-model would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.”

―David Bowie

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Funny Phrases

972. A Nut for a Jar of Tuna

See also Palindromes.

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Funny Sayings

973. Alcohol, Because No Great Story Started from Eating a Salad

See also Alcohol.

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Funny Sayings

974. A Computer Once Beat Me at Chess, but It Was No Match for Me at Kickboxing

See also Technology, Violence.

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Funny Insults

975. I Hope Reincarnation Makes an Exception for You to Not be Reincarnated

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Funny Quotes

976. “Ur Mom.”

―Abraham Lincoln

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Funny Quotes

977. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”

―Mindy Kaling

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Funny Quotes

978. “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

―Lemony Snicket See also Cats.

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Funny Songs

979. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?

Frank Zappa classic.

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Funny Things to Do

980. Teaching Your Dog to Meow

See also Cats, Dogs.

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