Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

151. "Martinis are like breasts. One isn't enough and three is too many."

See also Alcohol, Body.

Added by a Guest on August 3, 2008| 22 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

152. "Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"

See also Television.

Added by a Guest on June 5, 2008| 21 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

153. "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Ad-libbed by Roddy Piper in the film They Live. See also Celebrities, Movies, Profanity.

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2008| 11 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

154. "Rehab was a sobering experience."

So quoth Lindsay Lohan. See also Celebrities, Drugs.

Added by a Guest on May 27, 2008| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

155. "I'm thinking about lice!"

Said by random girl in my class during an awkward silence.

Added by a Guest on March 19, 2008| 15 Comments | You Like This |

Kind sir, might you lend a hand and add a funny quote?

Funny Quotes

156. "By the time they realize the truth, we'll be long gone with all the money."

Quote by a villainous Fisher Stevens from the 1995 movie Hackers. See also Movies.

Added by Frank on December 23, 2007| 1 Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

157. "Too many OBGYNs aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country."

As spoken by none other than our president, George W. Bush. See also Politics.

Added by a Guest on October 16, 2007| 12 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

158. "Nobody puts baby in the corner."

See also 80's.

Added by Tyler on May 7, 2007| 12 Comments | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

159. "I stopped painting in 1990 at the peak of my success just to deny people my beautiful paintings, and I did it out of spite."

Quote by obnoxious celebutard Vincent Gallo. See also Hipsters, Pretentious.

Added by Frank on January 8, 2007| Comment | You Like This |

Funny Quotes

160. "No guns. No butter. Both can kill."

Presidential campaign slogan of former baseball player Bill "Spaceman" Lee, who ran under the absurdist Rhinoceros Party ticket in 1988. See also Baseball, Politics, Sports.

Added by Dave on January 8, 2007| 5 Comments | You Like This |

Top Contributors of Funny Quotes

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.