Funny Jobs

161. Certified Pet Emotion Translator (CPET)

Acts as the emotional interpreter for pets, decoding meows, tail flicks, and judgmental stares into actionable insights for clueless humans. Daily tasks include explaining to cats why the red dot isn't real and assuring dogs that yes, you will come back from the grocery store.

Fluent in Barklish and Meowinese.

Comfortable being ignored by cats professionally.

Able to cry on command when a goldfish looks disappointed.

Added by Spiro7860 on June 3, 2025| 3 Comments | 22 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Jobs

162. Senior Vice President of Snack Procurement Strategy (SVPSPS)

Oversees the highly sensitive and politically fraught operation of choosing, acquiring, and hiding the best snacks in the office. Must navigate inter-departmental tensions caused by missing granola bars and passive-aggressive notes on the fridge.

Conduct quarterly audits of the communal snack drawer (a.k.a. the Crumb Zone).

Mediate turf wars over the last bag of spicy chips.

Strategically deploy decoy healthy snacks to throw off rival snack raiders.

Added by Spiro7860 on June 3, 2025| Comment | 13 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Observations

163. Australians are Just British Texans

Added by Unit8787 on June 3, 2025| 8 Comments | 56 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Questions

164. Who is Jose, and Why Do Things Not Go His Way?

Added by a Guest on June 3, 2025| 1 Comment | 37 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Euphemisms

165. Disrelished Mortal

Also known as someone you don’t like.

Added by persons on June 2, 2025| Comment | 17 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Things

166. Taco Tuesday, But on Wednesday

I still want my tacos. See also Tacos.

Added by a Guest on June 2, 2025| 4 Comments | 21 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Euphemisms

167. Cup on Steroids

Also known as a mug.

Added by Geust on June 1, 2025| 4 Comments | 26 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Foods

168. Bobster

A regular lobster, except he was called Bob before being food. See also Seafood.

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2025| Comment | 30 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Insults

169. You Look Like You Returned a Donut Because It Had a Hole in It

Added by a Guest on May 31, 2025| 1 Comment | 74 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Anti-Jokes

170. What Did the Alligator Drink at the Gym?

Water.

Added by a Guest on May 29, 2025| 2 Comments | 38 people like this You Like This | Unlike